Chapter 14 – One, Four Three “Tears of fools, the heart thought over love No, tears over loss I love you means goodbye in a town called nowhere”   Slowly leaving the restaurant, a chill was setting in.  Was it from the long day, and exhaustion setting in, or maybe the reality of more to come?  How much more would a person have to take before they realized that once you enter into the torment gave, there is only one way to bring it to an end and that was to end it?  Somehow or another, the human species does not realize this simple parallel: Once a dog tastes blood, he is incapable of being domesticated.  Animal trainers know this. Just as once, a partner is able to rip out your Achilles’ heal, bruising, it, damaging it, rarely if ever is the athlete in the same shape as prior to the tear. It will haunt.  There comes a time when all signs point to running, not walking, but running.   So it is in relationships, once boundaries are crossed, they are crossed and there is no going back.  He didn’t want her to come, she didn’t really want to come, she merely wanted to say goodbye, say it the right way.  Isn’t there a right way? Does it always have to be anger, hysteria, pain, why can’t it just slowly end, much like it does in grade school when a chum gets transferred to another school?  One day they are sitting next to you, the next, there is a new face.  But, wait that is exactly it, as long as there is a rapid replacement, there is no real long lingering of pain.  No wonder why it is that so many lonely souls find a new mate before they have the guts to leave a present one, which further explains why social networking sites are so unbelievably popular, take Match.com, the near-do-well that set all of this falderal in motion.  People are actually paying to meet the next conquest.  It was the catalyst to their relationship and it would be the end as well.   She really wanted to just be alone, but how.  There were no motels in the little town that he lived in, and she was without her own car.  More than anything she wanted none of hit to be true.  Not the separation, not the loneliness, not the reality that the thin morsel of bliss that she experienced in the beginning was over, it was done.  She wondered to herself how it is that only a couple of weeks of unbelievable joy could warrant everything that preceded it. Much like the addict who has one amazing trip on cocaine comes back over and over again to once again experience the ecstasy.  This was no different.  What a reformed addict knows is what she would need to discover. There is never the same trip twice, but many die trying to make it happen.   “Sweetie, I think I will sleep on the couch.  I don’t think it is right for me to sleep where I am not really wanted.”   She breathed deep, then let out a sigh, that was on the edge of a moan. “No, I need you near me, next to me.  I want you for as long as I can have you.”  It was really not words of longing, but more like a demand, an order.  She wanted what all women want, to be really wanted.  Hearing only every other word made for the perfect romantic setting.  She did not want to think about the next day.  She would be on a train bound for nowhere, to a place with a name, but, no purpose or prose.   Climbing into bed was a struggle.  So much she wanted to just ask how it was that of all the nights they would have to encounter the wicked witch, and have their time together ruined.  But, she had to make it through the night.  Maybe, just maybe it wouldn’t be true.    He left the room to start playing a cd of her favorite songs to lull them to sleep.  All of them her favorites, which made them his new favorites, made for a perfect end to a long day.  The music moved across the room with the same gently breeze from the window.  Caressing her warm skin, and soothing ever so tenderly her weary soul.    As they drifted off to sleep, he pulled her into him, shaping his body to hers.  Wrapping one arm around her waist and the other under her pillow and firmly enfolded his fingers into hers.  She was consumed by him.   Softly he whispered, “I Love You.” She felt him shutter and choke on the words.  She could not speak in returnd.  A single tear slipped down her cheek and she remembered a time before when she heard, one, four, three and believed.